Pork Chopped

Noble Agents,

I last saw my beloved son Willie two days ago. He had finally convinced me he was ready to go on an adventure (albeit a short one). I kissed him goodbye, gifting him my share of the mountain’s power.

Moments later they came, first from the sky and then from the ground below: Twisted facsimiles of pigkind, seeking only conquest and destruction. I was helpless as they escorted and bound me here at the summit. I watch now from above as they weave a slaughterhouse for my citizens.

Please bring Willie to me. With him by my side and the pendant he holds, I will have the strength to defend my people.

Sincerely and Desperately, Queen Pomegranate Porkins, of Porkland

The Agents, Cyprus the Wanderer, Baldwin the Thane, and Vahagn and Volteia the Thunderbirds, arrived in the small village of Porkland at the foot of Swinetop. They immediately found Willie Porkins, who revealed that he was the son of the queen. He also told the agents of attacks by cyborg pigmen, also known as the chopped. They had also constructed a giant horizontal electric fence up in the sky. Cyprus took the young piglet and put him in their satchel.

The Thunderbirds scouted the air, observing that the Pig 'N Campment had been overtaken by the chopped and made into some perverse factory. Back on the ground, Cyprus and Baldwin found an old woman under attack by a chopped from the graveyard. They defeated it and she led them to the encampment of the Bacon Bunch, a local group of roguish outlaws that were fighting against the chopped, where they rendezvoused with Volteia and Vahagn.

The Captain of the Bacon Bunch, Caroso, told the agents that the attack started two days ago, and that they were losing badly. They had managed to capture one, named Hogwired who seemed to have a split personality between himself and the robot possession. He revealed that he served Mechapigler. Baldwin was given a machine gun which he mounted backwards on his noble steed, who shot Hogwired, putting him out of his misery.

The Thunderbirds flew up the cliffside and battled some more of the chopped. Baldwin followed behind, climbing the cliff face. Cyprus found a secret passage and arrived behind the encampment. Baldwin and the Thunderbirds took an aggressive approach, taking on a whole horde of chopped. Meanwhile, Cyprus managed to sneak in and disable the mechanism powering the sky fence (aka the Bigpen), and they found an airship! They met up with Volteia who flew back through the passage to bring Caroso, a skilled pilot, along with his men. The machine gun horse used his machine gun like a jetpack to climb.

Baldwin and Vahagn continued to fight against the dozens upon dozens of chopped. They took down swaths of them, but were eventually overpowered by their sheer numbers. Fortunately, the reinforcements arrived! Caroso commandeered the airship, and the agents managed to clamber aboard!

Their troubles were not yet over. In the sky, a flying hundred-foot-tall Pig cyborg demon appeared-- Mechapigler! He caused a rockslide with his cleaver and shot giant lazers out of his eyes at the agents, destroying the encampment below. They managed to disarm him by turning the horse into a toy, throwing it at Mechapigler, but it was at that moment that the power of Willie's pendant was revealed-- it channeled the power of any item from the video game PEAK. Cyprus had Willie use this power to turn it into a sleep dart, and helped him aim for the tenderloin, incapacitating Mechapigler.

The agents then made it to the top of the mountain, giving the Queen her son and her pendant. She thanked them profusely and dispelled the curse, eradicating Mechapigler and his chopped legion.

Badges Pinged

• Vahagn, Volteia, Cyprus, Baldwin unregistered