Tales of Turtles and Diamonds

Hello my Scrumptious Sugar Plums:

Maddy’s got another job-job for you!

It has come to my attention that my Late Husband, Lord Warden Jeremy MacDiamond, miraculously survived the blast from that fiasco at the prison. You organics are persistent little vermin, aren’t you? If you find out how he did it, let me know so I can be more thorough next time.
With him alive and beyond my control, it seems he may have caught on to some of my spending sprees, adultery and murdering of his relatives (I’m just a girl, after all <3), and cut off my access to all his accounts. Even worse, I hear he’s working on some crackpot new business scheme for “renewable energy” or some nonsense. Something to do with a shell company of some sorts.

Currently, he’s presiding over the “MacDiamond Convention for Things He Has that You Don’t” at his private mountain. It’s mainly for him to show off all his toys, selling them off when someone is foolish enough to bite, but there’s also some other vendors who try to capitalize on the influx of clientele who are richer than they are discerning. 
I’m sending you there to conduct business for me. I’ve provided you vendors’ passes and cleansed a storefront on the lower floor for you.
Here’s what I need of you serfs:

-Get to the bottom of any strange business decisions my thought-to-be-late husband Jeremy MacDiamond made as of late, and thoroughly embarrass him to the point that he loses the respect of all the clientele present.

-Rake in all the profits that the MacDiamond Corporation would have made at this convention— no blowing everything up this time! I left my vintage possum coat in the sun for too long and I need a new one. I’m expecting a payout of at least 134,928 Civillions, which is about $67,463,921,033.99 in Yrth Dollars. (And don’t even try it Willy, I know fake cash when I see it).

Enjoy your existence while you still can, Empress Madrigal, Goddess of Nebula 6 and a Half

The agents, Gig the Wanderer, Sir William the Charlatan, Heldra the Vessel, and Lord Frobisher the Oddball, arrived at the front gates of the expo 15 minutes before they began. The gates bore a large electronic billboard sign reading "MacDiamond is Unbreakable." Within the hall, all the lights were glowing an indigo-blue and a "MacDiamond jingle" was incessantly on a very short loop on speakers everywhere. They were met by a dignified Ratfolk named Conrad who led them towards an empty venue where they could set up shop, conveniently already stocked by Sir William's suppliers. As William began to set up the shop, Frobisher got out his doohickey and found that it sucked the indigo energy out of the lights, forming a liquid inside the doohickeys container. Frobisher tripped on a marble and had a vision of the liquid stemming from a pool inhabited by a small turtle.

Gig and Heldra departed, leaving the William and Frobisher to run the shop. Soon after, an announcement from Jeremy MacDiamond himself, broadcast on a giant monitor, announced the start of the convention and customers began flooding in. A bald man came over and was overjoyed that William's hair tonic was effective! He promised to return with more affluent friends who would also be interested. Soon after, Pyotyr, a merchant from the nearby "It's a Steal" bargain goods shop came by, and exhibited some aggressive salesmanship.(and also revealed his hatred for Jeremy MacDiamond as many of his friends had been killed in his prison explosion from a previous mission) Following his departure, William's associate Sally came by, and she asked what she would be selling. William went in the back to show her the goods... and found that they had all disappeared!

Meanwhile Gig and Heldra ventured up a maintenance stairway used by the servants. Gig recognized the guard who let them by without issues, and they emerged onto an upper floor where the MacDiamond Masterworks exhibit was located, full of all manner of exorbitently expensive curiosities. Heldra kept to the side, keeping a low profile with her shadow magic, while Gig donned his exotic parure and made conversation with the rich clientele. He soon encountered a woman in a turtleshell-print dress who hinted at being part of a certain organization that was in cahoots with the MacDiamond corp. As Gig was about to be spotted by Conrad, who was in charge of the exhibit, Heldra alerted him and he conjured... a turtle.

With their stock missing, William and Frobisher went towards an elevator, but were unable to make it past the ratfolk who was in charge of "keeping riffraff out of the main exhibit." Things escalated quickly, resulting in a tussle between frobisher and the ratfolk in which he managed to snag a couple turtle pins. It seemed for a second that things were about to turn really violent but Frobisher distracted everyone by mentioning how much he loves candy floss. The two agents and the guards went back to "It's a Steal," and bought candy floss from him (and as they did, they also saw him sell a very familiar hair tonic to another customer...) After that, the two agents, with their turtle badges, snuck back to the elevator and managed to get up to the exhibit.

As Gig brandished the turtle a crowd formed around him, with members of the turtle cult in awe. The lady in the turtle dress, Talia, was very impressed by this display and gave Gig a turtle pin. She told him of her organization, the shell company's plan-- their god Wagoyo was a turtle who would suck all the energy out of suns and convert it to "bathwater," which could provide immense amounts of energy. MacDiamond would ferry Wagoyo arround and collect artifacts from the dead civilizations left in his wake. Talia also hinted at a ploy that she was making against Jeremy MacDiamond, which certainly corroborated the insidious whispers that Heldra had picked up on regarding a murder attempt on Jeremy MacDiamond (that was planned to be done very discretely)

Speaking of Heldra, in the commotion she managed to sneak past the guard tower into an elevator that led straight to Jeremy's office. He was there watching his favorite show "Slaves vs Hounds," and was shocked to see Heldra. Through a combination of magics, she convinced Jeremy to listen to her, and she told him she suspected his life was in danger. Jeremy was very panicked about this behind a facade of bravado, and Heldra went back down to converse with Gig downstairs.

The agents all convened briefly in the MacDiamond Masterworks exhibit, and Frobisher and William went up to confront Jeremy while the others spoke with Talia and Conrad (who, it turns out, was also in on Talia's plan) Conrad that they were planning an assassination with the help of a trained group of assassins. Shortly after, Pyotyr and his crew appeared out of the elevator and charged towards the guards. It turns out they were far better thieves than fighters, and it was quickly evident they would not be able to defeat trained guards. (they had apparently lied on their resumes)

However, at that moment, Heldra unleashed her sun god's power, turning the room into a blazing desert, which spared only Gig who, with the protection against Heldra's magic, was able to freely loot the exhibit for valuables (approx 35,000 civillions value). The fight between guards and thieves was over before it even began.

Once Frobisher and William reached MacDiamond's office, they found it empty, with the tv hanging ajar from the wall revealing a hidden passage. After clambering through, they saw Jeremy perched on rafters over a large pool, begging Wagoyo to help him. Willaim grabbed Jeremy (who was having a panic attack) and brought him back to his office giving him some strong weed. Following all of this, Jeremy had a bit of a breakdown (spurred on by frobisher) which resulted in him stripping down to his soiled adult diaper.

The heat had put the elevator out of comission. Heldra, weakened from her magic, needed to be carried by Gig up the escalator shaft, and her magic weakened as he did.

William managed to hack into the computer and, with some difficulty, transferred a staggering amount of funds (100,000 civillions) out of the shell company and into a flash drive. Frobisher's marble gave him an insight that the monitor could be routed to the main one in the hall downstairs, and he switched that downstairs monitor to display a live feed of Jeremy MacDiamond's office, showing him very high in a soiled diaper having a meltdown. In addition, William hacked it so that the jingle was replaced with a looping recording of "MacDiamond Sucks," and the billboard out front was changed to match as well.

While this was sufficient to fulfill the mission requirements, the agents felt there was still more to be done. Gig uncovered a control that drained the bathwater out of the pool and flooded the lower level with highly corrosive liquid (Sally managed to escape just in time). With the pool empty, he climbed through the passage onto the rafters and found Wagoyo, a small turtle turned on his back, defenseless outside of his bathwater. He blasted him with his glammer and it only took one shot to slay the tiny god.

Badges Pinged

Gig took off in an escape pod before pinging out.
William called in MacDiamond's Robo-Nurse to ensure he would recover, then dipped.
In stark contrast, Heldra make a decisive swing with her scythe, ensuring that MacDiamond would never have any kids, before leaving.
Frobisher pinged out, wishing he hadn't stayed to watch that.

Mission Success.

• Lord Frobisher unregistered
• Gig unregistered
• Sir William unregistered
• Heldra unregistered