Suzie Mackenzie (aka Madam Driver)'s Missions

The agents, Racom the Inventor, Suzie the Hotshot, Wolfgang the Thunderbird, and Augustin the Oceanographer, arrived near the town. Suzie grabbed a car and they followed the trail of hippos to a warehouse they had been spotted at.

They gathered some info from townsfolk, then Suzie and Augustin made their way underwater while Racom and Wolfgang went to an island.

The latter two found an abandoned base and fought off many hippos.

Suzie and Augustin dove deep underwater, Suzie made a hippopotamobile, stuck a rocket in its ass and crashed it, then Augustin broke a bunch of printers.

Mission Success

(Summary by Reece)

Suzie Mackenzie, a Hotshot, Christina Denton, a Foreman, Talon (Greyson Draik), a Freerunner, and Sanura Katzenberg, an Aspiring Catwoman, are transported to a sandy coastline, intersected by a multi-lane highway with a slick surface and an endless stream of vehicle-like drones skating past on extendable legs, controlled by some sort of automated system which prevents collisions despite the sheer quantity of machines racing along. There’s also a colony of approximately one hundred penguins waiting to cross the road. These penguins are oddly top-heavy, very short, and have surprisingly mobile necks, though their chicks are even stranger, being completely incompetent balls of fluff, which the adults casually roll down sand dunes and toss over obstacles.

Talon takes the lead, attempting to interact with the birds, though he quickly learns that despite their non-threatening appearance, they possess surprisingly strong bites. As the squad assesses the highway, they notice demolition drones hovering above, ready to clear any debris that makes its way onto any of the lanes. So Talon grabs a penguin and deploys some hover platforms to create stepping stones above the highway, which he can hop across. Unfortunately, he’s not able to throw the platforms high enough to completely avoid the traffic, with some of the drones reaching ten metres tall when their legs are extended to their fullest extent. As such, he ends up almost being hit and has to resort to using a passing vehicle as a springboard, flinging himself into the sea on the far side of the highway.

He does safely deliver that one penguin to its destination, but his supply of hover platforms is far from unlimited, so it immediately becomes clear that this isn’t a practical solution. Also, he then has to expend a few more platforms getting back across the highway to rejoin the others. Whilst he’s doing that, Christina and her muskrat assistant, James, unload some construction materials from her kei van and use sandy cement from her cement mixer to construct a ramp, aiming to build an overpass, but the moment their construction crosses into the space above the highway, a flying vehicle resembling a large helicopter descends from above, landing in a central lane devoid of traffic and disgorging a crew of maintenance bots, which nimbly weave through speeding drones until reaching her position, at which point they swiftly tear down any part which enters the lane, leaving Christina with just a ramp rather than a bridge.

Seeing this, Suzie conjures an incredibly specialized vehicle called a “pingwing”—a small plane with ice-skate feet, a cargo hold designed explicitly for the transportation of penguins, and a penguin-like prow which can mimic penguin calls to put the birds at ease… though this last feature seems completely ineffective with this species of penguins. After loading up a dozen birds with Sanura’s help, Suzie takes to the sky! Sort of. She uses Christina’s ramp to take off, but doing so means that she’s flying directly into the oncoming vehicles’ path, so she’s forced to swerve wildly in a desperate effort to avoid a collision. She manages to eventually make her way through all six of the highway’s lanes, but not before clipping a drone tears off the pingwing’s ice-skate feet. Like Talon before her, Suzie splashes down into the sea, unloading her penguin passengers before circling around to attempt a somewhat ungainly water takeoff.

Unable to think of anything better to do, Sanura occupies herself—and her two black cats, Kaala & Kuro—with shooing away any penguins dumb enough to attempt crossing the road without assistance… or worse, to try flinging their chicks onto the road. As she’s doing this, some automated panels assemble themselves on the highway, closing one of the six lanes so that the little demolition drones can safely disassemble Christina’s impromptu construction site without being run over. Christina attempts to stop them from doing their jobs by shooting cement at them from a specialised gun, but this proves rather ineffective, as they deploy tools ranging from jackhammers to vacuum cleaners, swiftly ridding themselves of any cement that makes contact with them.

Then Sanura gets bored of waiting on the sidelines and uses a magical hardhat provided by Christina to conjure a giant traffic cone, with which she slides across the closed lane before the demolition bots can stop her, then leaps off, directly into the traffic, being immediately struck by a passing vehicle. Talon spots this and dramatically shouts “Nooo!” at the apparent death of a fellow agent. Meanwhile, Sanura appears in the safe, central lane and slips unnoticed into the parked helicopter, which the little maintenance bots have left completely unoccupied. Alas, the machine’s AI is smarter than she anticipates, so her attempt at seizing control of the vehicle is stymied when it rejects her instruction to disregard all its previous prompts.

After his dramatic moment, Talon does some more acrobatics, managing to land on another of the demolition helicopters, shattering its propeller mechanism and sending it crashing down onto the highway, giving the drones more cleanup work to do. His subsequent landing on the road then creates a shockwave which sends a few of the bots sliding away, though they’re undamaged, and he slips on the slick surface, so is unable to prevent them from sliding right back over to him and unceremoniously shoving him off the highway, back onto the sand. At the same time, Christina finishes duct-taping Suzie’s pingwing to hold it together, then conjures an automated crane to help her work, soon causing numerous traffic accidents by assembling her construction site as fast as the bots can take it apart, flooding the highway with junk.

Talon realises that the penguins will be in danger if the increasingly perilous situation persists, so rushes around the colony, tagging as many of them as he can, encouraging them to follow him away from the pile-up just in time, as soon many of the ungainly vehicles start toppling off the road and crashing down into the sand. This massive pile-up does result in the remaining lanes having to be briefly closed, so Christina takes the opportunity to load up her kei van with penguins, attempting to drive across with them. Unfortunately, the van is not the most reliable vehicle and its wheels are poorly suited to such a slick surface, so it soon topples over, sliding as far as the centre of the highway before coming to a stop. Suzie also ends up around there, after an attempt at commandeering one of the long-legged drones ends with it losing a leg, spinning around out of control, then toppling over, breaking a few of her bones.

By this point, Sanura has managed to threaten the AI into compliance by hinting that she could tear out some important wiring if it doesn’t act helpful, so the large helicopter flies off the highway and lands, allowing her to load up the remaining penguins (and her two cats) before taking off again, heading for the sea… only to come to a stop above the highway and begin tilting, attempting to dump all its passengers out onto the road, whilst at the same time it is swarmed by flying repair bots which begin fixing it up faster than Sanura can damage it. Fortunately, her feline friends are surprisingly deadly for animals their size, so manage to ward off the drones whilst she tears open a compartment and grabs a handful of wires, which she threatens to tear out, once again convincing the AI to cooperate.

At the same time, more and more demolition bots begin closing in on Christina and her cargo, as well as Suzie in her wrecked walker, but Talon is quick to come to their aid, tagging many of the drones and leading them away, which buys Christina the time she needs to evacuate her penguins, helping them reach the beach just as the helicopter AI dumps its own passengers overboard, letting Sanura, her cats, and her penguin passengers splash down into the sea. The agents’ badges begin pinging, and Suzie is the first to depart, what with her pressing need for immediate medical attention. Talon & Sanura briefly converse, with the former being both shocked and relieved to find that the latter is still alive, then they pingout next. This leaves Christina as the last agent on the scene, and she takes her time enjoying a bubblegum-flavoured soda as she relishes in the carnage that she was able to unleash before finally tapping her own badge and teleporting away.

The Agents, Osowyn Tidewriter the Greybeard and Suzie Mackenzie the Hotshot arrived near the front gates of Anmetin, finding them mysteriously unmanned. They ventured inside and found a general apathy among the residents. Osowyn racked her tomes and learned that the former queen had recently died. With this insight, the Agents set off on their way, on a Motorbike conjured by Suzie.

In front of the palace, they encountered some guards. It was a bit awkward, but they managed to secure an audience with Queen Ambi. In the waiting room, Osowyn did some more research and found that the Queen had been killed in a car accident, hit by a car that didn't hover, a luxury item in this area. The agents figured out that it was likely there were still tire tracks out towards the area of the accident.

Suzie faked indigestion, and took advantage of the servant's shock to get a pair of sending stones for her and Osowyn. Suzie snuck out of the palace and boarded her motorcycle, activating its "story powered engine," moving towards the crash site. On the way there, she finds tracks that are leading towards an encampment.

Osowyn has a meeting with the new queen. She revealed that there was a curse that had been put on the kingdom. It was a scene with great emotional moments that I wish I remembered better. Goddamit. Eventually, she and Queen Arbi went up to the roof.

Suzie entered the encampment and met a woman who seemed powerful. She identified herself as the leader and let Suzie check out her car in the garage. Suzie fixed it, but as she did, the mechanic let slip that that woman was a princess. Intrigued and suspicious, Suzie contacted Osowyn through the stone. Osowyn calls in a blizzard from the distance while Suzie hijacked the Princess's car and crashed it into the side of her building.

Suzie faked extreme inebriation and confusion, collapsing into a chair with wheels, which led to the princess leaving her alone for a moment. Right then, Osowyn used the Sending Stone as an origin point for her Feathered Hat and Graven Staff, alongside a pair of binoculars to precisely play a very scary noise she learned from a Book, sourced from their bag. This noise startled the princess, giving Suzie a window to activate Threading the needle on the wheeled chair she was sitting on, up a desk that was broken in the car crash, along the wall that was plastered in icy sheets of paper, making it extra slippery, and right past the princess, grabbing her pendant before crashing into bookshelf which would have fallen on her if not for her holding the chair above her and using the emergency brake on it, rolling out of the way as it fell to the ground.

Holding the pendant, Suzie conjured a hoverbike and rode pack to the castle where she and Osowyn reunited. The curse had been lifted.

Badges pinged.

(Summary by Reece)

Suzie Mackenzie, an elderly Hotshot, and Cordelia Maris Undine, an Oceanographer, port-in to a small, tropical island, which appears idyllic at first glance—with palm trees, seashells, and gentle surf—though this is somewhat undermined by the dark storm clouds overhead, the frequent flashes of lightning, and a continuous, mechanical screeching emanating from the island’s centre, where a mechanical totem, several stories tall, rises from the caldera of an active volcano.

The agents’ arrival soon draws the attention of the island’s inhabitants—grotesque, bipedal fish, with huge, bulbous eyes and gaping maws—which begin emerging from reed huts scattered chaotically around the beach. At the same time, Suzie hears the approaching engine of some manner of off‑road racing vehicle and recalls one of her old designs, which she thinks would be a good fit for this environment. Cordelia, meanwhile, has no familiarity with land-based vehicles, having spent her entire life undersea, so darts behind a palm tree, attempting to hide until the threat has passed.

Then a massive, somewhat humanoid shark bursts out from behind the volcano, riding a tiny kart, comically small for his size. Like the fish, he is almost cartoonish in his proportions, though much more muscular, and with a wildly enthusiastic grin. At the same time, more fish begin emerging from their huts, these ones riding ramshackle motorbikes. From her visualised image, Suzie conjures a hovercraft-car with inflatable wheels and paddles. She hops in and takes off, heading directly for the shark, which attempts to ram her, only for Suzie to spot a nearby sandbank in the nick of time. By riding into the bank, she’s able to use it (and the shark’s face) as a ramp, flipping her hovercraft over in midair before landing safely.

At the same time, Cordelia is charged by multiple fish on their rickety, unstable motorbikes. She attempts to dash to a nearby pool of water to take cover in more familiar environs, but quickly realises that at the speed they’re moving, the fish will run her down before she makes it there, so to buy time, she hurls a canister containing a locally extinct species of plankton, which luckily makes contact with a fish and bursts explosively, spreading its slime like a squid spraying ink, causing the fishy biker to swerve aside and collide with another which was also closing in on her. In the ensuing chaos, Suzie and the shark make it to the pond first, but after a bit of driving around it, Cordelia manages to dive past them and into the water, magically expanding the pool’s scope in the process, to reveal a small cavern with a layer of volcanic glass at its floor, which she begins hacking away at with a resource extraction tool.

A fish follows her down while Suzie and the shark race off towards the volcano in the centre of the island. Just before the fish can reach her, Cordelia summons her submersible mecha, which the fish collides with hard enough to daze itself. Her magic then tears up the remaining obsidian and uses it to coat the mecha in an additional layer of power armour, enhancing it and causing it to resemble a cyclopean, black crab, at kaiju scale. After slipping into the mecha, she has it burst free of its containment, startling the biker fish into suddenly rethinking their plans, fleeing from Cordelia rather than running her over.

The volcano’s slope is unstable and as Suzie ascends, loose boulders begin tumbling down. She’s able to magically reinforce her vehicle enough to tank some hits, but rather than doing likewise, whenever one nears the shark, he simply catches it, hefts it, and lobs it back up at her. Just as her pursuer is about to catch up, though, Suzie leaps free of her vehicle and allows it to be struck by a boulder, causing a collision when it slams back into the shark’s kart, sending him tumbling down the slope.

She isn’t in the clear yet, though, as helicopters piloted by fish appear, with more of the biker fish leaping onto them in pursuit of Suzie, now that they’ve been disincentivised from chasing Cordelia. With her previous vehicle totalled, Suzie conjures a jetpack in its place, using that to ascend the caldera while dodging the fish dive-bombing her from their helicopters. She soon reaches the totem, noticing that it rises from amidst the lava pool, giving no indication of how far down its foundations actually go. She can see that the totem is made up from cylindrical segments depicting the forms of screaming animals, all rotating at varying rates. The uppermost segment appears to be a stylised lemur, though as Suzie watches, a pair of lightning bolts begin coalescing in the hands at the end of its tiny, outstretched arms.

Meanwhile, Cordelia comes face-to-face with the shark when it tumbles down the mountainside. She plucks a palm tree out of the ground with her mecha’s pincers and smacks around the shark like she’s playing first baseball then whack‑a‑mole, all to no avail, with her foe being seemingly indestructible. Using a loudspeaker built into the mecha, she’s able to make periodic, island-wide announcements, keeping Suzie informed about the timescale she’s operating on when it comes to taking down the totem. However, as the shark first tears off the crab’s pincers, then shreds its shell, leaving the cockpit exposed, then finally circles the mecha, tearing off its legs one-by-one, Suzie realises that even with her lava-fuelled charges, she’ll not manage to take down the structure before the shark finishes off her fellow agent.

So she expends the last of her jet fuel to boost herself back out of the caldera and swoop down to land atop the shattered remains of Cordelia’s mecha-crab, conjuring another vehicle in the jetpack’s place, though by this point delirious from essence exhaustion, Suzie’s mind drifts to her love of baking as she’s trying to visualise the vehicle, and she ends up with a tiny, banana bread car. She then drives down the mecha’s remains—which rest at an angle—directly towards the shark, which of course revs up his vehicle before rushing to meet her, aiming for a head-on collision, only to be taken completely by surprise when Suzie pulls off a trick which results in her own ride being flipped over and tossed unceremoniously aside, whilst the shark and his kart are catapulted through the air, towards the volcano.

Cordelia sees none of this, abandoning her ruined mech through an escape hatch in its underside before enlarging the nearby pool again with another magical dive into its waters. She then takes the risky move of trusting Suzie to hold off the shark whilst leaving herself vulnerable for an extended period, slipping into a semi-conscious state of torpor as she takes in both energy and mass from the water all around her, slowly swelling like a sponge. Unbeknownst to her, though, her badge begins pinging mere moments after she enters this state: the shark, launched by Suzie’s manoeuvre, colliding with the precariously-leaning totem and finally toppling it, collapsing the side of the volcano and sending lava pouring down its far slope.

After Suzie topples from her now-rather-squashed vehicle, flopping out on the sand, with her Essence spent and barely clinging to consciousness, she just barely manages to work up the will to tap her badge and pingout. Not long after, Cordelia once again bursts from the pool as a towering kaiju, though this time with no mecha required. She notices her badge pinging, but moves to check on Suzie before departing, though as she inspects the banana bread car—noting the old woman’s absence—she spots the shark returning from behind the volcano, coming straight for her. Her initial reaction is to hurl the remains of the baked vehicle at her foe, but when that doesn’t even slow him, she just barely manages to slap her badge before he would’ve cannoned into her.